Wallace & Portia

So where's Portia been? Mostly watching football, giving back rubs, going to the grocery store and trying to stay warm when it's cold outside or going outside to be in nature when it's not.

But the Super Bowl is Sunday and, after that, it's back to work for me. Afterall, Wallace is on the path to his higher purpose... and I'm starting to feel like a bump on a log. I've got a lot of doing and dreaming, manifesting and making, writing and just trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing in the next five years.

I don't have forever. I should realize that more now than ever... tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

And what happens when one of your best friends is about to leave town? Who will poke my brain then? I don't even like to think about it. What I do like to think about is freedom and abundance and joy. Feeling a sense of purpose in my creativity that transcends the egotistical need of some board member to update their online profile because surely everyone in the world is just holding their collective breath to find out what new, bogus accolade they've added to their long list of community appointments. Yawn. Is this how I spend my energy and time?

Ugh.

But I deserve what I get. And what I get right now is more money than I've ever made, yet I am still undervaluing myself. And then there's the damn fear.

Yep. Fear.

Wallace knows what I'm talking about. He and I go round and round about this. We're like two kids on a see-saw; one up and the other down then the other up and the one is down. We can, we can't, we can, we can't, blah, blah, blah. Except in between his ups and downs, Wallace suddenly started moving forward.

Me? I think maybe I just need a bloody steak and potato.

I also need to find my muse. Find my story to tell. Find myself out there in this big ol' world. Because if I don't soon, I fear I'll just waste my time collecting my days in a bottle I might drop. Then all that time will be spent for naught and I won't have had as much fun as I coulda and no one will be to blame but me.

No risk, no reward. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. No moving toward your dream and it never becomes a reality. Never.

Just a dream. I don't want my life to amount to just a dream.

I want more. I'm sure of it. And if so, I'm going to have to find a way to focus and/or get a hell of a lot more productive with my time.

So much for football... well, starting on Monday. C'mon the Super Bowl is Sunday!

LOL.