Oy.
It's just after 8pm. My hands are completely caulked. Today was my first experience with it, and I left the top (the top that I fashioned by knifing the upper section off) off, and ended up with a gelatinous goo mound. I took said goo mound and tried to apply it to a beautiful matte print. I don't know the result of that experiment but I'm not too optimistic. The earlier project with caulk has much more potential. All in all, a good day.
In what may be the most interesting news of September, Wallace finds himself motivated, irrational, level-headed, and myriad conflicting, non-conflicting adjectives. He's somewhat smug and pleased. Things lacking from his usual repertoire. 3.4 hours of troubleshooting a CSS padding issue dealing with the newer release of Firefox, and the "a-ha" 1.4 second moment of discovery pleased him to no end. One part for others, one part for himself. Small things like this have been building up, and exploding in azure-sky non-fireworks.
Every time Wallace blinks it seems as though he falls into a dream. The blinks are no longer than usual, but the majesty and wonder of the moments is elongated into a symphony of hope. Perhaps soon he won't have to sleep.
My latest foray into obtuse illustrator art. 
getting out, i felt better. i came home and started this: carbonmade site.
I also started twittering. I linked it to my cell phone, so i can txt updates. this will be interesting at work most certainly.
all of the motivation dropped off around 2pm. i fell asleep. woke up bewildered and not hungry. i still want to see hamlet2
OK, so here's the thing. No matter who I read, they all say the same thing. It's just regurgitated with a few new phrases for the same things thrown in. I'm serious. Read a few books about life in the Now. Being Present. Whatever you wish to call it... I'm telling you, it's all the same.
But maybe there's a good reason for that.
Maybe it's because, as my Dad likes to say and probably several hundred self-help books, the present is all we've got.
I'm down with that. Especially the "not-over-thinking-everything" thing.
Like this past weekend at the beach. Body surfing in a strong current means a) great waves and b) the distinct possibility of drowning in an undertow. You have to pay attention. You have to focus on the job, or in this case the play, at hand.
I was in the Present Moment. It was all surf and salt air and feeling for the tide and seeing the dragonflies every where. It was the cold water of the deeper ocean mingling in with the warmer waters of the shoreline. It was being turned ass over tea kettle in the crashing waves and tossed up against the shrapnel of razor-sharp shells that covered the coastline. I came up for air with scratches, the odd bruise and the exhilaration of feeling Alive.
When you can be that focused, you can't think about anything else. None of the things that plague your mind during the hours of your "regular" life... things like career, living up to your potential, your choice of a mate or lack of a mate, your bad haircut, wondering if you should've been a doctor, afterall. Stuff like that.
So, maybe all these people have to tell you the same thing over and over because we just don't hear what is said. Yet, we still have the desire or need to reach that place of peace.
I found it at the beach last weekend, but I would guess, if all these self-help gurus are correct, that you can find it anywhere you happen to be. It's a choice. It's a place you go in your head and heart.
I'm going to try it more often. If you do, way to go. Good luck with that.
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